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Welcome to Chris's Page

Now if you've read sube's page and you've read DK's page you'll find my page to be in the middle. Living with Kelsea and Sube taught me alot about myself. There are many different types of people out there, but everyone has a heart. Some people can love with all there heart and others can't love at all. I found love for me was my blessing and curse at the same time. I choose to love people and I love them like they've been my friends or family forever. I can't hold back, because I feel like love not given is love wasted and you should never waste love on anyone. I sometimes use my gift of love for bad things, I manipulate and change peoples ways so that I can be comforted and I can feel loved. I also use my love to protect people and to guide them so that they stop making the same mistakes they made yesterday. Sometimes people sell out or they value themselves lesser just because they want a place to fit in. I think Love is powerful and in my next topic I will discuss the power of love and innocence.

Innocence

"Innocence is bliss"

For many of us Innocence is something we neglected, we forgot, we took for granted and we live in the constant consequences of our actions. The myth of |coming of age| and being able to do certain things because your a certain age is one of the greatest circulated lies told in modern society. There is no age that is old enough for you to be treated like a whore or she's old enough she can do whatever she wants. To me that sort of attitude is just an excuse a way of giving up on people.

I hate to see a woman cry. I think there is a domino effect of emotions when not only a woman cries but when anyone cries. I watched show about a girl who was fake and she wore a personality mask se hide the real her and she was your typical blonde hottie who was popular and always got what she wanted or so it seemed. Watching her daily routine you began to notice the holes and the sadness within her life. No father around to protect and guide her and her mothers best advice was to not sleep with men, because once they got what they wanted they always left. It seemed like the mothers advice was just bitter tales of a broken marriage, but the reality was much deeper and severe than the girl and even myself could have imagined. It seems like in our younger years we are forced to act like people were not. We pretend to be certain types of people to fit in, but the reality is that underneath it all we all want the same thing and it's to be wanted by someone. 

The story carries on you find out the girl is a virgin, but being popular she fronts and tells of times she's made guys feel great  and she boast about her prowess as a seductress. She is able to avoid the reality of sex because time after time she tells her boyfriend that she's busy or tired, but one day the time comes and she's not ready for sex she doesn't want to have sex, but she never says anything. She plays it off like it's better to have sex than to be caught up in a lie. She lied so much that the lies became her life and for many of us the truth may set us free, but the truth will destroy the mask that we wear everyday.

"Virginity for sale" an interesting idea, people sell there bodies for money, but this girl gave it away for free. She knew that her boyfriend was a cheater he slept with her best friend, but  where else would she go? Not every woman is empowered, not every woman sees a way out she feels trap even through she's the one applying the pressure to stay in a relationship that's unhealthy. She has to choose between her fake life and nothing, because she gave up the reality of life, she broke bonds with friends and she pushed everyone who ever loved her away. She was left with superficial and naive friends who hated her just as much she hated who she had become. The truth of the story was she didn't do the right thing. Most people would have said it's common sense to leave him and to forget about those friends and do your own thing for a bit, but truth is people aren't willing to change. No one wants to let go of there insecurities.

Her best friend steals her boyfriend, basically because she puts out and she doesn't. It didn't matter how much she worked out or how popular she was she couldn't give him the one thing he desired. She blames herself for not getting with the status quo, everyone else has sex like sex is so casual for them. They learned to let go of there inhibitions, but she holds on to them she's not ready to be like them, but if she wants to be one of them and be better than them then it seems like she has to sell out. There wasn't a way out in her eyes. So she takes the boy back to his house and he says something strange to her before they have sex. He says is there anything you want to tell me? Now at this point she's a virgin she's scared, why lie? why not tell the truth? will it hurt to admit that your are scared? She looks him in the eyes and says I love you and she says do you love me? the boy pauses and tells her that he loves her too, but are men really that naive or is it our desires for sex that out weigh our responsibility to woman. She ends up losing her virginity to this guy who was willing to dump her moments before they had sex. All he wanted was sex and she gave him sex, but how long will that last? and i asked myself was the cost really worth it? does she win in the end? I ask myself the same thing do we all really get what we want once we sacrifice our innocence for temporary reliefs. The reality is she probably won't be with him forever, a sacrifice made in vain. I feel like for many us we give away parts of our selves today because we feel like we have a lot but we forget to think about tomorrow, because tomorrow is always another day.

In the end the story parallels the girls mother walking home after what appears to be a one night stand also. The girl walks home and meets her mother and she follows her mother back home. A literal metaphor for the way many girls are today. Their mothers slept around and didn't set a good example, so they did the same thing. I think that as men we have a duty to our sisters and mothers to treat them not like what they ask, but to break this illusion of equality and submit ourselves to woman so that they will in turn submit and love themselves. I admit to you I'm guilty of treating woman poorly and incorrectly, but if you don't learn from your mistakes then your never truly sorry. I've learned from my mistakes and I am truly sorry. Everyday it's a sacrifice and if I could make every better I would but it takes two to tango and people need to forgive and until we learn to forgive and move on society won't ever change. We can't live in the transgressions of yesterday when we still have a today. The most important thing we can do today is to safe guard the innocence we still have and give our love and affection to people that matter. The truth will set you free and people don't like the reality of who you are, then maybe their not the right people to have around. I think in the end God has a plan for everyone and I think we can choose to be shallow and naive like the girl in this story or we can be outcast take a rocky road that will one day lead us to a greater happiness. Selling out is temporary, but being me is priceless.

The Influences of the World

I was sitting in my van driving down the road on my way to Macdonalds and  I am listening to the radio and a guy says "the world is made up of three major influences" and he goes on to state these three as "Humanism, Materialism, and Sex" Humanism was people want to be the king they want to do things their way or the highway. The second one was materialism we want more and we need more because someone keeps telling us we do. The last one was sex and sex is something we are drowned in daily whether it be television, or billboards we can't escape sex in our everyday lives. Now the next part was interesting as the man compares people of this so-called world to be "death walkers" people with no brains literal zombies who aspire to humanism, material things and sex and as one person falls victim to these things it perpetuates society and people feel like they can't ever make a change in their lives. Well the truth is people can change and we don't have to sell out or get money to be happy. I think there is good in the world and I know that there is bad, but for a lot of people God and religion isn't the answer, but I'm trying to figure out then is what can save them if a "naive" belief can't? I mean isn't that the same thing we said throughout history in terms of black people  when they said they would never vote, when they said gays would never have the right to marry, but the truth is in the modern world that anything is a possibility, but people are willing to disclaim things more than they are willing to have faith and morality and most of all patience. I think for a lot of us we want things now and sometimes when we get them too soon and when we realize that maybe we should have waited to obtain the the things we really wanted we understand the flaws in us. I think for a lot of people we blame our selves, we blame our families, God, religion, money, power etc We find things to blame, but we don't live our lives as solutions. I think anyone can live their life out as a "death walker" but it takes a hell of a person to step out into the open and live a life correctly and morally and not sell out because everyone else is or that's what people are doing now a days. I think we are in an age where we are all educated and should know by now that there more to life than being the boss, having all the money in the world, and selling our bodies to get a shot at fame. 

We're men not Gods

Since when did we all start acting like Gods? When we started worrying less about the consequences of our actions and claiming justification in the name of self vindication. To me we are suffering from an excess of pride from the numbness of our own self pity and the toxic nature of self loathing. When human beings start to act like humans and worry about the consequences of their actions, stop taking things for granted, and remember the needs of others around us maybe then we can get far. World hunger and poverty are myths people don't starve everyday because they don't have food nor wealth, people choose to deny others food and wealth in order to have power. To dictate when another men can live or die. We have exhalted ourselves on a plane of invisibility and when death comes for us all we must answer and look back at our lives and ponder upon whether or not it was really worth it. When we fought against a brother or sister for money or clothes. When we hurt our friends for popularity or glamour was it worth it? To me I believe that no religion or God can save a man who believes in himself. When we believe in ourselves we are doomed, because inherit-ably we are sinful and selfish people. When we live our lives with our hands out expecting to receive the world we often stumble and cry, because our expectations are rarely met.  We settle for love, because it feels like it's the only thing that will make our lives better. We give into our desires and bad habits, because it seems like we have nothing to live for, but the truth is clear. Deep inside of us all we know the truth and we know it's a hell of a thing to obtain, but it's easier to lie to yourself and justify then to face the harsh reality of life. No one wants to lose, but winners are magicians and they've painted an illusion for you that makes you want to be like them, but the truth is your the winner and they are just trying to get back to where they all began. The man who wins is not the man with the most, but it is the man who took the time to seek and realize the truth and ultimate value in life.