SUBE

My friend

This is a page that is dedicated to one of the most entertaining people I've ever met. He's my buddy and on this page you catch a glimpse in our real lives. I will posting stories and trends that we find funny. This page is all about Sube so if you get offended really easily don't read his page, because I guarantee something will make you mad.

About Sube

For many people I think reading through this "based on real events recall" of major points of Sube's life you can gather two things. Oh he's a horrible person and he does bad stuff or you could find compassion and love and say you know even through he was adopted, beaten to an inch of his life and eventually found out years later he wouldn't see his mom the only person he had growing up he's not that bad of a kid he struggles just like you and me. For some people I advise you just take a step back and look at your own life and stop being so judgmental. We can't change who are, the things we've done and the mistakes we've made. All we can do is laugh and move forward with our lives. Not everything is glamorous about our lives, but we love each other and we know that ultimately God is the only man to judge us. It's not right some of the things we say or do, but were human and we grow an inch everyday whether it's spiritual, emotional, or creatively. Welcome to our world and if you don't like GO AWAY! :)

PLZ WATCH THESE BATTLES ARE A METAPHOR FOR SUBES LIFE

We have a weird out look on life people who are your friends will always be there you might not agree they may hurt your feelings but they always stick through with you even when things are sour. 

One of the first things you should know about me and sube is that we love inside jokes so before I tell any stories about sube I have put together a list of terms of words and terms we use in our own language that is a a crazy and stupid version of English. 

Intro

So one of the most important things you need to understand if you want to understand me and Sube is that we love to reference over peoples actions and mistakes and turn them into words that describe actions. 

for example, To "Zimmerman" someone means to either steal there girl or commit an action that is sneaky and out right dastardly.

Yo! last night at the club Jon Fric tried to zimmerman me, but he got friend zoned hard.

This video well help explain the fric zone or the friend zone.

FRIEND ZONE

The next term is called "cop dat exclusive" This comes from leaked hip hop music where dj's and other people always say cop that Atlanta underground exclusive. The term means to get something, buy it, steal it, etc you get the point.

guy # 1 : Hey have you seen Shawn's sister?

guy # 2 : Man I'm finna cop dat Atlanta mix tape exclusive

The next link explains why we always say "get back twerk"

The back twerk video

Sube is known for saying things like "what chu twerkin wit" and the that is followed by this sort of action......

The twerk Armageddon

Twerking is also a reference straight into the "Clap" joke.

We became aware that someone we knew had the clap. So in many hip hop songs artist say things like "make dat ass clap" or "clappin for a few stacks" or "make dat ass clap like an earth quake"

The point is that when ever someone or a song made a reference to clapping a person with the clap or a person who sexually promiscuous and probably will get the clap is referenced through these jokes.


Guy # 1: Hey I heard Jordan been sleeping with girls in Hamilton

Guy # 2 : you know you can't trust them thirsty hoes

Guy # 1 : he won't be clappin when his test results come back

example two

* twerk song comes on

Guy # 1 : you know who this reminds me of?

Guy # 2 : lemme guess CLAP CLAP CLAP

Story Time 

By his own request Sube has compiled a list of people and things he wants me to talk about and I will begin with two stories in one starting from his keggers. 

So as you may or may not know my friend sube is a PARTYAHOLIC!!

He loves to go out or stay in and have a good time. If you know anything about me you know I love attention and Sube loves attention just as much and sometimes a little bit more than me.

Now for most people a Kegger environment is a place where funny things happen unless your quite sober at the time. Now for me I'm not much of a party person in comparison to modern day enthusiast. I mean I'm not really a stoner or a pill popper or a frat boy, but I do enjoy choice drinks and I love music and which man doesn't like a room filled with beautiful woman.

Well as you know many men suffer from a disease known as " can't keep that thing in your pants" for many men and I'm not saying all, because there are some very respectful men out there who choose to wait until marriage which I 100% support and think everyone should, but the reality of modern morality and casual sex points us towards a new trend a new type of slack and shameless flirting and that's called the dreaded and let me repeat that the dreaded "ONE NIGHT STAND"

Now for all you holy and righteous people who have no clue what that involves basically it's two people see each other you are looking for something I am looking for something let's negotiate and some how that leads to hopefully two people sleeping together, but in many cases a third person gets thrown in and we'll get back to that.

Now the reality of a "One Nighter" goes two ways sometimes it's awkward as hell. Sometimes it's great and the two people "fall in love" I use this sarcasm to illustrate my own personal disbelief that you can sleep with someone the first time you meet them and fall in love and have a healthy relationship. Now I'm sure there are people who have done this and I say good for you and congrats. Realistically though it doesn't happen often and meeting someone at a bar or some place where your drinking and high is just.......DUMB!

I mean the whole reason 90% of woman go to the bar to get "F^*K up"  and White Girl wasted in the first place is because they have some kind of issues; Daddy issues, insecurity,attention seekers, or some just like sex. Those a few reason why some girls have told me they go to the bar and do the things they do. However, the reality of the one stand is quite disgusting and in the following story I hope you can see for yourself some of the reason you should really keep that D in your pants.

So in St.Catherines starting on a Wednesday's depending on how hard you party it's a party night and you "finna get turnt up". Now for my white friends or oreo type blacks that means you are going to get drunk/high or something that will induce your body to enjoy foolish and stupid company. Now on one of these days sube has to text me and be like hey how you doin? you finna get turnt up this weekend nigga? and I'm always like this nigga just drank for three days and now on Saturday he wants to drink again....






For many of us students the weekend means we survived some stupid classes and "we just wanna party" If you are not clear about this whole concept I have inserted a video that will explain what my white female friends are like on the weekend......

" I JUST WANNA PARTY"

So once you've made up your mind that you wanna party then it's time to hop on the 116 which is called the "party bus" because you got a normal bus but it has 15-30 drunk ass fools on the bus screaming and yelling and if your lucky sometimes people pee yes I said PEE and puke on the bus.


Niggas on the 116 This video shows you what people on the 116 be like when they are drunk and gotta pee.

So any way if you have survived the bus ride downtown you are either going out to the clubs or you are going to a friends place for drinks now sube was younger than me so he never got into clubs except one Mink. However, he did have these big Keggers and every body under sun came people with they babies, their moms, things was off the chain. You would see people from Brock res like -------------------->
And then I would see them getting turnt up and be like i thought you said house parties were overrated.

Or my favorite thing would be when people find out that "black chris" was friends with sube. They would be like "yo can you get me in? can you hook me and my friends up send us a link to the party. I mean I'm not mean but I can relate to the reference to ------->

 I hated when people I didn't like tried to be my friend especially only because they knew I had connections and friends in higher places. it reminds me of a movie we watched called a nuva hood. watch the link tho..... It's basically a saying that I always say to people. I call them a Waste Man cause they talk about getting money and woman and their skills but truth is most people are just fronting. Why can't people just like you for who you are and not the things that you have. Most people don't really know me they may talk to me or see me around but most of the people who are trully my friends now all the dumb stuff and silly things like this clip i always say to sube.

NO LINKS NO WHIP NO P

 So any way so once you reach these parties you start to see the ratchits come out and I mean from A-Z I've seen things no man should ever have to see at parties. I had a girl dance on my kitchen island and hit the plastic panel in the roof out. I've seen girls in skirts with no underwear doing cartwheels like I damn I thought cocaine was a hell of a drug. I think drinking and smoking cigs is gross but drinking makes people act dumb and do dumb things. Ask sube and he always makes fun of me because I say Axe HAHAHA shut up! but truth is sube loves ratchits he can deny it all he wants, but I meet alot of the girls he "likes" and some of them are just "priceless" I always feel like singing adele when I met them. cause I feel like it suits the situation perfect. "never mind he'll find someone like you..."



I love it when I go to the party tho and there is always that one white girl but she's been raised kinda black so you try to do anything "black" cause there is technically nothing of race but it's a dumb thing people say. and they'll be like your not doing it right or even better they look at me and be like "these white hoes don't know how to twerk properly." Or sometimes you get the girls who like "omg can you teach me how to dougie? sometimes i feel like being black is a natural pickup line.



Then the worse part is you have all these Thirsty guys like Sube half naked or got a pedo lean on. It's like an intense face as they survey over the crowd looking for that one girl and they just swoop in an try to cop an exclusive. I see these guys hands signals and smiles and no lie they say stuff like I'm this big or I got drugs things I didn't think you could say to a woman and the girls laugh......... honestly I just die inside and curl up in a ball.

 ---------------> girls sit there an listen and there is always that one thirsty friend ALWAYS
in a group. The other girls are disgusted and like he's gross and she's like laughing and kinda acting like girls stop I'm tryin make a move get this guy to come home with me

you have to be careful because some of these girls sneak out to parties and they are just babies but they are looking for a good time and it's right both ways. Young girls stay at home and stop buying TNA products for your 14 year old. and Guys when you girl is just graduating kindergarten and your starting your masters SHE"S TOO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO!


When she's too young






To me that is a clear indication of thirst !! but for some guys they don't care they like she wants the D I'm down to give it out so why not? I mean I ain't gay. But since when are you gay for choosing not to have sex with every walking vagina? but again arguing male logic and trying to understand female reasoning will not work.



So any way most people end up finding a guy or girl or whatever we got now adays floating around. I see guys dressed up as girls and girls lookin like dudes. You know the world is a giant free for all match you never know what your getting into when you leave your front door.

So there was one girl at a kegger and two of my friends slept with her they didn't know or i didn't think they knew till the next few days had pasted and they do the whole "so how was your night type ordeal. and it came out Sube and our friend hooked up with the same girl. I would classify it as a disjointed train it was not planned not counting as a full train maneuver, but still hard on the girl. The awkward thing was I saw the drunk girl told her to go get her jacket and go home cause she was drunk.  Any way the party continues and I see this one other girl doing rolls on the floor flashing people and I'm saying to myself dear God please help me because I have a low amount of patience with people. And this girl to me was a phenomena I couldn't believe the degree of ratchitness.

For the next following months and days and etc time measurements Sube would get into a verbal arugument and our friend would say tell me how my D*3K taste in direct reference to the fact that Sube had double dipped which is frowned up in most male circles, unless it's a birthday or some sort of event where some people often in celebration terms agree to lower their social morality and engage in shameless orgies only because they all kinda agree that its okay. I personally find that weird and creepy, but some guys like to share and swap girls and I mean it's their bodies I can't tell them what to do and how to use them.

But then it kills me when I hear girls who are like. I can never find a good guy like I am looking for true love and these guys just use me and abuse me. Now hear me out it's not right what guys do but if you know they are like that why put your self out, why put out at all. Like they taught you back in grade 8 abstinence is key. Oh well people will learn one day that to get respect you must demand respect and it all starts within.

 However house parties are not that bad. I mean I've seen the devastation both physical and mentally on people, but I think you can have a good time make friends and most of all enjoy yourself just know your limits and know who you are and if you take that into account I think you might make it out alive of your first years in school. I've met crazy people and heard crazy things go down at parties, but like my mom always says you don't have to be young and dumb.